Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Silver Screw

Once upon a time, a young lad was born without a belly button. In its place was a silver screw. All the doctors told his mother that there was nothing they could do.Like it or not, he was stuck with it ..... He was screwed. All the years of growing up were real tough on him, as all who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving his house.... And thus, never made any friends.
One day, a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of a swami in Tibet who could get rid of the screw for him. He was thrilled. The next day, he took all of his life's savings and bought a ticket to Nepal . After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come. The screwy guy was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have been removed. The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open window. In the mist floated a solid silver screwdriver. In just moments, the screwdriver removed the screw and disappeared out the window.
The next morning when the man awoke, he saw the silver screw laying on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel, and there was no screw there! Jubilant, he leaped out of bed ...... And his butt fell off.
The moral to this story : 'Don't screw around with things you don't understand --You could lose your ass.

Friday, December 19, 2008


the "bribed with ice cream" smile

Before I go...

I'm supposed to be leaving today for Charlotte, where we will spend the night and fly out tomorrow. I'm normally soooo organized, however, for some reason I just can't seem to get it together this time. I still have some packing to do and we're supposed to be leaving in a couple of hours. Needless to say, here I am, instead of packing...

I wanted to show everyone the Christmas dress that I made Abbey and her doll that Santa is bringing her for Christmas. I finally completed them which I'd been working on for a couple of weeks (Procrastinating). I also made an Ariel dress for my niece.

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Over 30 Crowd...

I received this in an email and could TOTALLY relate....Jaime and Stephanie, this is soooo us!!!


If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning ... Uphill... barefoot...

BOTH ways Yadda, yadda, yadda And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, There was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of Thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my Childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you Don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and Look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write Somebody a letter, with a pen!

...Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there! There were no MP3' s or Napsters! You wanted to Steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you Were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you Just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video Games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games Like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You Actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or Screens, it was just one screen Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting Harder and harder and Faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing! You had to get off Your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons On Saturday Morning. Do you Hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK For cartoons, you spoiled Little rat-bastards! And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat Something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that! (Now, we did have a microwave at our house)

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids Today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted Five minutes back in 1980!

The over 30 Crowd

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Gingerbread Houses and Pyschological Testing...

One of our family Christmas traditions is to buy a gingerbread house kit and let Abbey decorate it (we have to help with the icing, of course). I noticed how you could see some of her personality traits reflected on her gingerbread house. For instance, she's very orderly. Things are to be lined up together. She also likes to look at the pictures on the box and copy them. She's very detail oriented as well.

I then wondered....what would a gingerbread house look like if made by....say.....Jeffrey Dauhmer? Or Charles Manson? Or any other serial killer? Well....leave it to google....

The scary part of this is that the above were made by children....Meet the future serial killers of America.....
There are some others (adult made) on this website: http://www.gingerbreadghetto.com/gingerbread_serial_killer_h.html

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Friday, December 5, 2008

Haiku Friday

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Continued......

I'm glad I don't have
The disease of the liver
Like Mary Poppins

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


I've had the stomach flu for the past few days and have felt a little guilty for not updating my blog. So, here's a small attempt. I loved this Mary Poppins skit on SNL.